The Offbeat: TAX DAY, by Jim Bohannon

WELL, THAT DAY HAS COME AGAIN..,,ALBEIT, A BIT LATER THAN USUAL THIS YEAR: TAX DAY…THE DAY WE…RENDER UNTO CAESAR. I’VE ALWAYS LIKED THAT TERM…BOTH BECAUSE OF THE DEFINITION OF RENDER, AS IN, RIP TO PIECES…AND CAESAR…BUT ONLY IF YOU SPELL IT…S-E-I-Z-E..APOSTROPHE-E-R. NONE OF US LIKES TO PAY TAXES, ALTHOUGH, OBVIOUSLY, SOME TAXES MUST BE PAID…FOR SOME THINGS. OF COURSE, WHAT WE PAY IN TAXES WOULD BE WAY HIGHER….IF WE ACTUALLY HAD TO pay FOR THINGS, INSTEAD OF DUMPING EXPENDITURES ON THE GROSS NATIONAL CREDIT CARD, SO OUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS CAN PAY FOR IT.
I WONDER HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD PAY AN EXTRA 5% IN TOTAL TAXES…IF…WE COULD DECIDE JUST HOW AND WHERE, SAY, 10% OF OUR TAX DOLLARS WERE SPENT. THAT’S WORTH CONSIDERING.
NOBODY VOLUNTEERS TO PAY TAXES…EXCEPT…IN 2 CASES. LOTTERIES…AND VANITY LICENSE PLATES. PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GAMBLE ANYWAY, SO I’D RATHER THEY DO SO BY RELIEVING THE OVERALL TAX BURDEN. AND THERE ARE LOTS OF VARIATIONS POSSIBLE. NOT JUST A NATIONAL LOTTERY FOR CASH…BUT MAYBE…TO SEE WHO ONLY HAS TO PAY HALF THEIR TAXES. REMEMBER..YOU’D BE BUYING A LOTTERY TICKET HERE…THAT IS, PAYING A TAX…IN ORDER TO BET THAT YOU’D GET TO PAY EVEN LESS IN TAXES.
AS FOR VANITY LICENSE PLATES: INSTEAD OF JUST GETTING TO PROMOTE SOMETHING ON THE BACK OF YOUR CAR…WHAT IF WE PAID A LITTLE EXTRA TO, SAY, HAVE THE NOSE OF A CRUISE MISSILE PAINTED WITH…TO ISIS, WITH LOVE…JIM BOHANNON? OR HOW ABOUT IF WE COULD PAY A LITTLE EXTRA IN TAXES…TO MAKE THE PRESIDENT OR TOP CONGRESSIONAL LEADERS WALK AROUND FOR A DAY…WEARING A T-SHIRT MESSAGE OF OUR CHOICE, ALONG WITH THE WORDS…JOHN DOE OF CLEVELAND MADE ME WEAR THIS.
MAYBE WE COULD PAY EXTRA TO NAME ZOO ANIMALS, OR PARKS, OR STREETS
AND WHY SHOULD individuals BE THE ONLY ONES VOLUNTEERING TO PAY TAXES? INSTEAD OF my NAME ON THAT CRUISE MISSILE…HOW ABOUT PIZZA HUT…OR HALLMARK GREETING CARDS. WHY NOT HAVE THE SNICKERS BAR MOUNT RUSHMORE…OR THE TACO BELL LIBERTY BELL? YOU’RE ALREADY SEEING SOME ADVERTISING ON LOCAL SCHOOL BUSES AND POLICE CARS. TO SERVE AND PROTECT. OINTMENT OR SUPPOSITORY. THE OFF BEAT. I’M JIM BOHANNON.